Measuring Value

So... I've been a bit MIA (not that I've advertised this blog at all so no one is actually reading it). Anyway, I've been very discouraged recently. My family still has not found a church. We have been church-less for over 6 months. On top of that, I am now a stay at home mom without many connections. I have always measured my value by my contributions to work or church. Now, I'm not sure how I can measure my value. This idea has left me feeling very worthless... I know... poor stay at home mom... Just let me have my pity party for a minute!

While in prayer a few days ago, Jesus and I had a "come to Jesus" chat. He reminded me that my value is not in my job or how I volunteer at a church. It's not in what car I drive or my salary. I am a child of the most high God. I am His daughter. Now... I just have to remember that. I can no longer focus each day on how many activities I've planned for my daughter or if the dishes get done, though those things are important. I have to focus on that I'm a daughter of God and begin to walk in that grace each day.

How do you measure your worth?

When to Stir Things Up

I was cooking a few nights ago and I had chicken in the bottom of the pan and at veggies on top. I wanted to get some good browning on the chicken. If you cook, you know that you jut need to let the food rest and for the perfect amount of time (too long and you have burnt food and if you stir it too soon, the dish won't be as good). Anyway... as I was resisting the urge to stir too soon, I started thinking. Sometimes, it's hard to rest like we should. And sometimes, we rest too long when God is telling us to get up and do something!

So, how do we know when it's okay to rest in Christ and just take on His peace? That's something that I'm trying to figure out. Prayer and time with God are really the only ways to know. I continually pray that God would give me a sense of peace when I'm on the right track and would stir something up in me when I'm chillin' for too long. Right now, God is really stirring something in me. I can't wait to find out what He has in store for us!

"Sing My Love"

I don't listen to music much... occasionally in the shower is about it. I have a very talkative two year old. She is in a phase of stating everything she sees over and over again until you've repeated it (so she knows you know exactly what she's talking about). I know... it's great for her development and I will miss these days one day!

Anyway, I'm probably way behind the times here, but I came across "Sing My Love" by Jesus Culture on Pandora a couple of days ago and I can't get enough of it! Once you've encountered the love of Christ, you can't help but want to show Him how much you love Him. You can't help but praise. Once you've confessed your sins with you mouth and accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, God sees you through His son Jesus. He doesn't see all of your junk and baggage, He sees you as holy. There is a constant outpouring of grace. Once you truly understand this picture of grace, you can't help but desire to show Him how much you love Him.

There was a time in my life that I was unable to understand God's love for me. My gut turned with each failing and sin, knowing that I had disappointed Him. I felt so condemned all the time. In Romans 8, it says, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." So, does this mean we can live a life of sin with no consequence? Not at all. It means that live our lives by faith, knowing that if we make a mistake (which we all will), that there is a path of grace. It means that I no longer have to make decisions in fear... that if I make the wrong choice, there will be a path of severe consequences. Instead, I make decisions by faith and God's grace is there to catch me if I fall.

I'm not sure what this means to you, but this makes me want to praise Him! This makes me want to seek after Him. He is pleased with me. He loves me. And I can't hold back my love and my praise!

The Church Search

I belonged to one church for over 10 years. For the last several years, it was not where I belonged. I became bitter and hurt because I was serving where I shouldn't have been serving and leading where I had no place in leading. 

Moving to Midland, TX was the best thing that could have ever happened for our family. We found an amazing place of grace in our church. The pastors and leadership were so real. I had never seen a group of people that would completely emotionally expose themselves for the benefit of others. I know that no church is perfect but it was so refreshing to meet people that admitted mistakes, failings, insecurities and doubts. They gave grace to others when it was needed and their attitudes allowed for others to give them grace for their failings. This church brought so much healing and led me to fall deeper in love with Jesus than I've ever been.

Fast forward to today... it's hard to find a great church! We have been in League City, TX for over two months. In true Jennifer fashion, I made a spreadsheet of all of the potential churches we wanted to visit. We have eliminated all of the possibilities. We are expanding out search to nearby cities and our amazing "former" pastor is making some calls for us. There are so many things that factor into the search - doctrine, style of worship, style of preaching, content of preaching and the list just keeps on going. 

I have to remind myself every day that we made the move to League City by faith. We will make our new church choice by faith. I just pray that God gives me the grace I need until then - because being churchless is quite frustrating! 

So, TBH (I think that's what the kids are saying these days!), I've been thinking for some time about writing a blog. However, I have always struggled with whether I had something worth saying or not. So, I've reserved this blog address for myself. I will write my thoughts as I want to and if this evolves into something more in the future, so be it! I hope at some point, someone will think my thoughts are worth reading :)